The Ghostly Rural Cat-Smacker

A couple nights ago my friend Bambi met me at my dad's and we walked up the road to the local tavern, the Shamrock II and had a few drinks. Afterward we sat on a picnic table in my dad's front yard and watched the stars as we talked over good times. All of a sudden we heard a bunch of cats screeching. Bambi wondered what was going on. Probably some cats having cat-sex I told her. She was justly bewildered when I explained the mechanics of how cats have sex and how mean it is. The boy kitties have barbed pee-pees and when they pull out they rip the girl-kitties' yoo-hoos making them scream out. It's the only way to get the girl kitties pregnant. Yikes! Bambi didn't want to believe how violently cats make love so I had to come up with another explanation for these nocturnal cat-calls.

Then I came up with the idea of the Ghostly Rural Cat-Smacker. There's this ghost of some guy who had certain unresolved issues against farmcats and so his spirit continues to endlessly wander the countryside searching for cats to give a good smack at. So whenever at night you hear a cat screeching loudly in the distance the Ghostly Rural Cat-Smacker has just mischieviously vented his wrath upon yet another poor farm-kitty.

*SMACK!*

*MRRRREEOOOWWWW!*