Farewell to Thee, NYC

I'm sitting outside the giant SBC super-evil fortress in downtown Madison literally leaching off its internet connection. A leak I discovered last year when I was in a similiar situation BEFORE I moved to NYC when I used to stay at my dad's and I drove to the law office everyday for work. After getting done I'd go to the library downtown and use the internet. One time I was lazy and I thought I'd see if I could connect wirelessly from the comfort of my truck instead of walking all the way inside the building. I could, but not from the library itself. SBC, it's evil lair across the street, has quite a strong signal and I found I could use it. Well, they must have caught on and switched it so one needed a password to log on and I moved shortly thereafter. Oh well, anyway tonight I was librarying it again and afterward went for a stroll and caught an outside presentation of "Dick Tracy" at the student union. blahblahblah. Anyways, I'm walking back to my truck and I thought I'd just open my laptop a little and see the old connection was here. Wa-lah!

Here's a bit about the days of my leaving NYC:

I didn't really do much to leave. Packed the day before and had a get-together with some of my compatriots at a brand-new tavern close to my apartment on 4th Ave., the Cherry Tree.

(photos to begin here)

Okay, Okay. I just wanted to blog and show you all some pics...BUT none of my photos are uploading and my laptop's battery is about out of juice and I'm getting slightly peeved (not too much, though - it's a lovely Wisconsin night, you can smell the fragrance of farms in the breeze). So I'll just work on this another time!

Things to look out for:

My drive back to Wisconsin
The guy who tried to kill me
My trip to Upper Michigan and a blurry digi-pic of Crystal Gayle's hair
A bunch of other pics taken by me
Question: Did Louigi (the guy who did heroin in my bathroom every day) pass his GED test?

When my laptop has more power and Photoblogger decides to work properly you will all find out!!!

PS: I cherish every one of my Bull Roar readers (you all know who you are)!!!!!!!!!

Bastille Day - Brooklyn Style

Carol invited me to walk along with her to the Bastille Day celebration up on Smith St. We were only going to check it out for a small amount of time, but ended up having a good-time the rest of the day!



Some good ol'-fashioned dancing.


Making friends.


Down on the corner of Bergen and Hoyt at the Brooklyn Inn (?). We met this dog. Carol, what was this cutie's name?


Our new puppy's owner and some guy who was her boyfriend once and now in town to attend her wedding? Huh?


The remains of an old tree that grew into a fence by my house.


Carol and I wanted to wish my landlord a happy birthday. He was hiding from his wife in his son's basement apartment.


The Cow-Dog of Brooklyn.


We met up with Brian and went to Freddy's, one of the greatest, coolest bars in NYC. It's gonna get torn down because some developer named RATner is going to build a bunch of skyscrapers in that area creating a Mini-Manhattan in the process. Fucker.

A Look Back on My Birthday!

Yeah, it's been a couple weeks since it was my birthday (July 12), but I still wanted to share the celebration of my 34th with everyone!

During the afternoon my roommate Danny and I drank several tasty margaritas at this fake surfer-hippy, corporate-style California-Mexican restaurant up on Flatbush Ave.


The bartenders were really bitchy and stupid and they charged too much for their little drinks. But it was okay, no need to dwell on them - it was my day!

Later on in the evening, I left Danny at home so he could hang out with the guy who does heroin in our bathroom and then I met the rest of my kids at this bar I've been wanting to go to for a long time - Jackie's Fifth Amendment, one of the surviving old people's bars on Fifth Ave. in the Park Slope neighborhood. I've walked by here a bunch of times during my Brooklyn wanderings and wondered what it was like inside. It always looked like a Legion convention was going on inside and I was always a little nervous to go in by myself. Thank goodness for birthdays!


Brian, Todd, Carla, Maria, me, and Carol (We just happened upon Maria who was already hanging out here!)



Carol's present was her old Beaver Dam shirt! Go Golden Beavers! (my old high school team)!

Here's Jackie! (I think...)

Watch out...don't mess with her! She's wearing one of those Maxine t-shirts with the old lady with all the attitude!

Saw this on the road on the way home after a good night's worth of celebrating.

Don't Fear...

Bull Roar! is still being produced (as is my other blog, the Quarter Bin). I've just been busy with my moving back to Wisconsin living like a temporary gypsy. When I get myself a place to settle into and my own internet connection, I'll have tons of posts for you all to read and enjoy. I promise!

Lights Out!

My part of Brooklyn is experiencing a blackout!!! When I walked home from the train last night it seemed a little dark and I was unsure what was going on, but when I got home with a television in my hands I knew what had happened! Oh boy!

Hopefully, it gets fixed soon! I really wanted to catch you all up on my life before I move back to Wisconsin this weekend. So much to blog about and now no power. Shitcakes.

I Exist Again

Yay!

The United States Postal Service has started sending me my mail again. For awhile, despite all the evidence of my residency here in New York, most of my mail has been sent back to all its senders marked "No such address." So it was, indeed, quite surprising today to open my mailbox and actually find some birthday cards (with money!) there waiting for me.

I won't get up and do a happy dance, though. The USPS is a fickle beast and I don't want to do anything to upset this precariously moody monster.

July 12 Is Coming Up

This is important for two reasons.

First, it will be my 34th birthday. I figure this will be my last year as a youthful American consumer. Whenever there's a survey to fill out and answer it usually asks you what age range you fit in. As I recall 18 year-olds and 34 year-olds are in the same grouping. After that our youth-orientated culture no longer thinks of us as viable (sniff, sniff, weep).

And the other reason, and a far more important one, is that the third season of the hit reality fashion show "Project Runway" starts up on Bravo. Here I am at Mood Fabric on 37th St., where the contestants get all their clothing materials, pretending I'm on the show. Yay!

My Staten Island Trip

I finally took the (free) ferry from Manhattan and spent the day on wonderful, wonderful Staten Island. As a tourist in part of same city I live in I have this to report: not much going on (which isn't bad).

Here's a typical building in St. George on the northern tip:

It's kind of nice. I kind of get this apocalyptic feeling from it where it looks like the human population has recently been snuffed out and nature has kindly started to take its course.

Staten Island has lots of broken sidewalks.


Then I left. Here's a view of the antithesis of Staten Island, where everyone thinks they have something to do.

Who Wants To Play Dominoes?

There's a group of older Puerto Ricans up the street who gather a bunch of old chairs, set up a table off of their stoop on the sidewalk, break out the drinks, turn on the radio, and play dominoes all the hot summer's day.

Reminds me of when I was a kid and I'd visit my grandma. We'd break out the set old musty dominoes from some old re-used box whose flaps were long since missing, move a bunch of dirty dishes and old newspapers out of the way, and play on the kitchen table. I remember even though we'd move all the stuff, the table wasn't ever really clean - I could see tiny smears of old hardened-on jelly and tufts of dog and/or cat hair. No big deal, it never stopped us from playing. It was always fun to see what abstract path the dominoes would make as we connected dots to dots. It never mattered whether who won or who lost, it was just fun being together.

Thinking about this makes me want to gather a bunch of good friends, sit down and relax, and have a nice, long game of dominoes. Refreshments are, of course, required!

Anyone interested?

Naughty Cats Aren't Respected

When a cat is naughty and misbehaves, the news gets around fast. It came to my attention that Toni got loose and ran away outside. And when he got caught he bit Gert, his owner (and my favorite Bull Roar reader) in the arm!!! Ouch!

Is this true, Toni? I don't want you to become like this other boy kitty:

Hope You All Had a Great 4th!

What better way to celebrate America than by watching teevee pretty much ALL DAY LONG? Thank you Bravo for re-airing the entire second season of Project Runway so people like me could show our patriotic colors from the safety of our couches!

Weiner of a Job!

Remember how I just started working for Sparky's, the hot dog cafe?

Well, no more!!!

The owner and boss who I always seemed to have communication problems with, failed to tell me a few vital things, one of which I'll get to soon. After I trained at the Williamsburg location that one day he called me several days later and asked me to train at the Manhattan location the next week. He let me know that is was a smaller, quieter business. I nodded to this, accepting this offer. When I got there for the first of my two shifts for that week it was a noisy mess! I was bombarded my noise pollution from the following: the subway that ran directly under the shop, the five lanes of continuous horn-honking taxi traffic right outside the door, loud crying babies who wouldn't eat their hot-dogs, and crappy top 40 radio music being pumped out on the stereo. I couldn't hear anything over this roar! Everyone, be it the guy who trained me or the rude customers, seemed to get upset that I had have them repeat themselves in order for me to hear them.

Alright, I thought, I can maybe learn to live with the noise. I was just being a pussy. It's a job and I can live with it. But then it got worse! Not only did I have to put up with all the sounds and rumblings of the city I had too listen to the guy who was training me as he would sexually harass me! WTF! When I first met him, he seemed pleasant and he almost seemed to whisper whenever he talked. But then I figured out some of the things he was saying to me! I asked him to stop, but he wouldn't stop. He asked me weird questions about fingers (you don't want to know!) and if I ever slept with black people. I told him it was none of his business. He wanted me to stay past my shift so I could go home with him when his shift was done. I said no way! He slipped me his phone number when he handed me my share of the tip money. Yikes!

Then I found out that everyone got paid that day...and I didn't. Supposedly, as my harrasser told me, nobody gets paid for training shifts. I thought, "Bull roar!" So, I left that night, knowing I was blowing this stupid hot-dog stand! I gave the weasel owner a chance to pay me or tell me what's up. I've called, emailed, and left messages about my money but no word back from him. So screw him and his lousy business. I'd rather be poor then work for that greedy, money-swindling jerk.

Grrrrrr!!!!!


Robin: Holy Frankfurters!!! Titans, stop everything! I hear that Jeffrey P. Worthen didn't get paid! Looks like we have a case!

Superman Returns!

Since I've heard rumors of a Superman movie coming out years ago I've patiently waited to see what the final product was going to be and now I finally got to find out. After going to the comic-book store here in Brooklyn I walked up to the Cobble Hill Cinema up on Court St. to take in the matinee. Sucky thing though, money-hungry Warner Bros. wasn't allowing any cheap shows yet, not even matinees, and I had to pay nine dawlers! Being the cheapskate that I am, I almost turned around and went home. But I thought that was stupid and so I stayed and took in the show.

It was a pretty good super-hero movie. Lots of cool flight sequences and such. The new guy, Brandon Routh, didn't disappoint. He looked the part as both Clark and Superman, and he didn't talk much - kind of monosyllabic. In comic books these characters never stop yapping. They also seem to have some little quip or pun to perform as they're punching out the bad guys or lifting up mountains. Not Routhy Supeman. Just fly, save a plane, whatever - just do it, don't talk.

Things that bothered me (spoilers here, watch out!):

Supposedly this movie takes place five years after the events of "Superman II." So why do all the characters look ten years YOUNGER than they did back then? Hollywood certainly has something against aging.

So Superman has been missing for five years according to this story. So has Clark Kent. Guess what? Nobody notices that they both reappear on the same day! Duh!!!!!

Lois Lane should have died about a hundred times during that plane crash. I can not believe Kate Bosworth's twiggy little body could have survived being violently thrown throughout the entirety of the plane cabin as the plane tossed about as it fell from space.

Superman is a kind of a creepy stalker guy.

We've waited nineteen years since the last Superman movie. I expected a better criminal plan for him to put him up against this time. This one about Lex destroying North America by creating a new continent with one of Superman's crystals from his Fortess of Solitude. It tries to tie into our zeitgeist of 9-11 and nature gone nuts, but it just comes across as being ridiculous.

Um, I have issues with this kid that is revealed to be Superman's. Exactly, how did Lois and Superman's son become super? Supposedly they got down and dirty and conceived the child right after Superman asked Jor-El to make him human and take away his Kryptonian powers in "Superman II." I think Lois withholding the truth! She's been hanging out with some other super-guy (anyone see Captain Marvel around?) and placing the blame on the S-man. "Hey! You've been gone along time, Superman! You owe me five years worth of child support!" Can Superman be legally bound to pay? I don't think he has any legal documents stating that he is Superman. He might have to reveal his secret identity if he is indeed the father.

Plus, Superman's kid killed someone!!! What?


Things I really liked!:

Superman's son wore Aquaman pajamas. Where did he get those? I have to get myself a pair!!!

Margot Kidder has a cameo. She's glug-glug-glugging away in a bar scene! Jack Larson, who played Jimmy Olsen in the original TV series is the bartender!

The costume worked well for this movie. I was leary of it when I first saw the press releases. Did he really need a Superman symbol on his belt too? Oh well, it worked alright.

Superman is a Super-stalker.

I was glad to see Parker Posey in this movie. Kind of underutilized. Makes me wonder what she would have done with the part of Lois Lane?

Canine cannibalism.

All in all, it was fun to watch, which is what's important when you walk several miles in the scorching heat to the theater. After the movie, I got caught in a thunderous downpour and I was completely soaked to the skin. Luckily, I was already wearing my swimsuit!

My Madonna Concert Scrapbook

Okay, I'm f-ing pissed. I've wasted my whole f-ing day trying to blog. First, my memory card for my camera self-destructed after loading up these pics. I don't know why. I spent hours trying to figure that out. And now, after typing up a review for this concert, something that I spent over an hour doing, it just disappears!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy these pics for now. I'll update this post tomorrow with my review. I'm going to drink myself into oblivion right now.


Alright, here's a report of my Madonna Moment as promised!

Let me start, by stating just how fricking excited I was to finally see Madonna live! I've followed her since I first got into music during the seventh grade, and I even stayed with her when a year later I gave up all that other top 40 crap for the local AM oldies station, and later on when I took up "college rock" or so-called "alternative" music in high school.

So here I was, finally, at the first of her six New York appearances for this particular tour which she has named The Confessions Tour after her latest album "Confessions on a Dancefloor." My "date" for the evening was a woman that bought the extra ticket that I was trying to sell over craigslist on the internet. We decided to meet across the street at a hotel across the street from Madison Square Gardens where Madonna was going to perform. Davida and I hit it off pretty well right away and she was thrilled to have such a cool guy like me to hang out with during the show (ain't she great at reading people!). Before we hooked up, she wasn't sure what to expect, maybe someone kind of "skeezy?" Luckily, I'm not "skeezy!" She told me about herself, what she did for a living, that her boyfriend wasn't into Madonna type music, and that she thought we'd have a great time! We joked about the fact that we hooked up a hotel! I told her that she needed a boyfriend who likes the same kind of music as she did, we laughed and made our way across the street to the show. This is what we encountered! Holy crowd control. The show was to start at 8 PM, but the doors weren't opened until 7:40. Not a lot of room to get your Vogue on!


Finally, at 9:20 the lights dimmed and the show started. Madonna hatched out of a shiny disco-egg! She was wearing an S+M equestrian outfit and she sang a medley of "Future Lovers" off her latest album and "I Feel Love" the disco hit produced by Giorgio Moroder. She began to ride around on top of her dancers.


Madonna likes to ride things. After singing "Get Together," her latest single, she sang "Like a Virgin" on top of this mechanincal bull-like thing.


Wheee!


Next was the song "Jump" an inspirational song about getting off your butt or something. The stage was a littered maze of jungle gym bars and springboards. The dancers were bouncing around all over the place like a bunch of little Mexican jumping beans. To this bar, over that dude's head, flip, flip, over and around. The way the song was going, with Madonna going on about getting "ready to jump," I was waiting for her to do her big leap. Finally, swish? What, she ducked under a bar? Madonna! I wanted to see you leap up, get your feet off terra stage-a and kiss the sky. I guess Madonna's better at telling other people what to do. When Madonna tells you to "Jump" you better jump!

Then it was time for a costume change and a musical interlude. While she put on her crown of thorns for the next song she had some of her dancers take over the stage where they swat out their internal demons to graphic images and sound effects blasted over the big screens in order to show us just how horrible their lives were until they met her. I guess Madonna only hires dancers with dangerous and highly dysfunctional backgrounds. "What? You mean to tell me your mother never pulled a gun on you and rolled you down a hill in a garbage can while she was shot up on smack? Well, sorry, you're not hired."

When they were done a special Disco Madonna Jesus Cross was raised up on the stage to which she was attached and she sang "Live to Tell." I hear there was a lot of uproar over her doing this. Whatever. She was just trying to plug some charities.




Very pretty.


After this she sang:
"Forbidden Love"
"Isaac"
"Sorry" This was the Pet Shop Boys remix verison. Pretty awesome! The crowd was worked up!
"Like It or Not" I liked it.

Then it was time for another clothing change and another musical interlude where Madonna got a little political on us. Luckily, she dispensed with those dancers and showed us a big screen video montage that was actually pretty cool. It was a special anti-Bush, anti-war remix of her song "Sorry" where she says, "I've listened to your lies and all your stories. And I can't take it anymore." I'm not sure how everyone else took it, I'm sure she was preaching to the choir, but she got a huge belly laugh from the entire arena when George Bush was on the screen and he was altered so that his eyes kept on blinking over and over as a fast as hummingbird wings. Pretty hilarious. Bush is great to make fun of!

Here's a shot of me and Davida. I'm pretty excited!


Madonna had all of us New Yorkers in her hands while she rocked out to "I Love New York!" She told us to "Fuck Off!" and she told us we could "Go to Texas and suck George Bush's dick!" Potty-mouth!


The rock-fest continued on through:
"Ray of Light" and
"Let It Will Be" my favorite song off her new album. Madonna shows that she has true mastery of the three chords! She also went nuts all over the stage rolling around like she was on fire!

Then as Davida mentioned the next two songs were the "time to go to the bathroom" songs. Kind of slow.
"Drowned World" where she took a breather and just sat on the steps of the stage and
"Paradise." I enjoyed these two songs and I didn't make use of the restrooms until well after the show was over.

After these two songs she came back out all decked out all Tony Manero-like in a white disco suit to a musical mash-up of "Disco Inferno" and "Music," which also sampled her old song "Where's the Party." Pretty wicked! The dancers were whizzing all ove the stage on roller-skates!
Then we got special new verisons of "La Isla Bonita" and "Erotica" which were both exceptional. She switched "Erotica" from a skeezy sex-fest song to a love-lorn driving disco tune.
For "Lucky Star" she wore a cape. She looked like a discofied Supergirl! Only fitting since "Superman Returns" opened up that same day.

Madonna closed up the show with an incredible performance of "Hung Up." The audience was stomping about.

At 11:20 the lights came back on and everyone tried to leave. Davida was one of those types of people who leaves before a show is over to beat the crowds, I on the other hand, sat around and waited for the crowds to disperse. I really hate masses of people trying to move about, kind of like confused cattle. So after waiting it out for a bit, I found a merchandise table and checked out the goodies for sale. I wasn't going to pay fifty dahlers for t-shirt, but I did get a poster of Madonna wearing those funny leather horse-riding clothes. If you come over sometime, I'll have it up on the wall specially-framed or something.

Wow, so this was such a great show! I went home and somehow found all the songs from the concert on the internet and downloaded them. I will never shut up about this concert. Ten years from now I'll still be going off about this show and you will all hate me!

Here's me in front of the MSG wearing the t-shirt I made just for this show. "Just watch me BURN!" It's my favorite quote of hers from the song "Let It Will Be." Amazingly, I couldn't believe it when I got a COMPLIMENT on my attire. New Yorkers are extremely picky and critical and think they know everything, so getting praise from them is truly worthy! Yay!