Superman Returns!

Since I've heard rumors of a Superman movie coming out years ago I've patiently waited to see what the final product was going to be and now I finally got to find out. After going to the comic-book store here in Brooklyn I walked up to the Cobble Hill Cinema up on Court St. to take in the matinee. Sucky thing though, money-hungry Warner Bros. wasn't allowing any cheap shows yet, not even matinees, and I had to pay nine dawlers! Being the cheapskate that I am, I almost turned around and went home. But I thought that was stupid and so I stayed and took in the show.

It was a pretty good super-hero movie. Lots of cool flight sequences and such. The new guy, Brandon Routh, didn't disappoint. He looked the part as both Clark and Superman, and he didn't talk much - kind of monosyllabic. In comic books these characters never stop yapping. They also seem to have some little quip or pun to perform as they're punching out the bad guys or lifting up mountains. Not Routhy Supeman. Just fly, save a plane, whatever - just do it, don't talk.

Things that bothered me (spoilers here, watch out!):

Supposedly this movie takes place five years after the events of "Superman II." So why do all the characters look ten years YOUNGER than they did back then? Hollywood certainly has something against aging.

So Superman has been missing for five years according to this story. So has Clark Kent. Guess what? Nobody notices that they both reappear on the same day! Duh!!!!!

Lois Lane should have died about a hundred times during that plane crash. I can not believe Kate Bosworth's twiggy little body could have survived being violently thrown throughout the entirety of the plane cabin as the plane tossed about as it fell from space.

Superman is a kind of a creepy stalker guy.

We've waited nineteen years since the last Superman movie. I expected a better criminal plan for him to put him up against this time. This one about Lex destroying North America by creating a new continent with one of Superman's crystals from his Fortess of Solitude. It tries to tie into our zeitgeist of 9-11 and nature gone nuts, but it just comes across as being ridiculous.

Um, I have issues with this kid that is revealed to be Superman's. Exactly, how did Lois and Superman's son become super? Supposedly they got down and dirty and conceived the child right after Superman asked Jor-El to make him human and take away his Kryptonian powers in "Superman II." I think Lois withholding the truth! She's been hanging out with some other super-guy (anyone see Captain Marvel around?) and placing the blame on the S-man. "Hey! You've been gone along time, Superman! You owe me five years worth of child support!" Can Superman be legally bound to pay? I don't think he has any legal documents stating that he is Superman. He might have to reveal his secret identity if he is indeed the father.

Plus, Superman's kid killed someone!!! What?


Things I really liked!:

Superman's son wore Aquaman pajamas. Where did he get those? I have to get myself a pair!!!

Margot Kidder has a cameo. She's glug-glug-glugging away in a bar scene! Jack Larson, who played Jimmy Olsen in the original TV series is the bartender!

The costume worked well for this movie. I was leary of it when I first saw the press releases. Did he really need a Superman symbol on his belt too? Oh well, it worked alright.

Superman is a Super-stalker.

I was glad to see Parker Posey in this movie. Kind of underutilized. Makes me wonder what she would have done with the part of Lois Lane?

Canine cannibalism.

All in all, it was fun to watch, which is what's important when you walk several miles in the scorching heat to the theater. After the movie, I got caught in a thunderous downpour and I was completely soaked to the skin. Luckily, I was already wearing my swimsuit!