I'm Wired...Literally!

Sitting in bed hooked up to an ECG (electro-cardiogram) machine getting my heartrate monitored. Can't do much so I have the teevee on. Just got done watching a slew of old alternative videos along the line of MTV's classic 120 Minutes program, a show I tried to follow every Sunday night back in the good ol' days of senior high school and college. (Crap, this post is revealing how truly ancient I am becoming...) Anyway, as I'm listening (and half-watching) the likes of Peter Murphy, They Might Be Giants, New Order, Nick Cave, The Jam, Courtney "Hole", and the ilk I fondly recall the days before the inter-net swept over the lands, a time when people like me (and probably much cooler than me) discovered new music by sitting in front of the television at one of the worst possible time-slots. A time of old sweaters from Goodwill, jam-tapes, and 'zines self-published at the copy shop. No myspaces or limewires or kazaas or itunes. How soon will Grunge retro be in full force?

Now the programming just switched to '70's classics. Carole King is performing one of her songs. She looks like she's bored to tears and half the audience is in a coma. There are a few close-ups of some women in the crowd mouthing along to "It's Too Late" as if it's their own song while their boyfriends unknowingly and lazily bop their heads along. Men, watch and listen what your women are lip-synching to!!! Are you really "hearing" what the song and Carole King is "saying"??? Well, if you did, you'd know that "it's too late!" Haha! Suckers.

My Chapstick is Missing

I lost my little half-used tube of Vaseline Lip Therapy. Everyone and their cousin seems to have seen it though, "Oh yeah, I saw that earlier today. Yep!" Well...where is it now??? I want to barf at the thought that someone actually took it and is now caking it onto their crumbly flaky lips. Yuck, the people here are so twisted--- and hell, this place is dry!

Top Songs of 2005

These songs, old and new, were the soundtrack of my life for 2005.

Beauty School Dropout----Frankie Avalon [for some reason this song has been stuck in my head since March, great to get into other's heads too]

I Believe In You---- Kylie Minogue [great discoteque power groove with the help of the Scissor Sisters]

Poses---- Rufus Wainwright [never got into Rufus until a trip to Chicago where I met my good friend Michael]

Wuthering Heights---- Pat Benatar [powerful rocking cover version of Kate Bush's song. Can't go wrong with Nebatar!]

Hung Up---- Madonna [I actually bought this album, and, on the day it was released. Always loved Madonna, but this made me love her more---yeah, I know that sounds pretty gay.]

Ain't No Big Deal---- Madonna [an unreleased track from her first album. Was to be her first single instead of "Holiday." This song has been my theme while walking the streets and riding the subways of New York. It's pure pop at it's best. One of my favorite Madonna songs of all time now. It's a great song for me and my bouncey walk!]

Teach Me How To Fight---- Junior Boys [I forget how I got into them. Possible memory repression? Embarrassingly, I feel I first heard them being played at West Towne Mall in Madison. But this ain't shopping music.]

Bellona---- Junior Boys [saw them play in Chicago, great synth alterno-pop]

Moviestar ---- Harpo [found this song while hunting for a soundtrack for Pam's Blossom Lane FilmFest. Endearing Scandinavian 70's pop. "You feel like Steve McQueen when you're driving in your car..." Also check out the French band Stereo Total's remake of this. ]

Winter In the Hamptons---- Josh Rouse [Listened to this catchy tune as I looked out my train window on my way through New York State. Josh Rouse is a gifted performer. Check him out in concert. I've seen him at least 3 times.]

I Believe In the Good of Life---- Hidden Cameras [This song was my theme song when I lived in my truck driving around Wisconsin this summer.]

Heartbeat---- Annie [I'm totally, absolutely in love with Annie, check out my earlier post about her show at the Rothko]

Yeti---- Caribou [caught them opening for the Junior Boys in Chicago in April. Kinda like synth alterno-pop you would litsten to on a sleigh-ride!]

In A Funny Way---- Mercury Rev [I was floored when I first heard this song to the opening credits of the film "Laurel Canyon". Completely transcendent.]

Only This Moment---- Royksopp [So thrilled to get a new Royksopp album. One of my favorite electronic bands.]

Call On Me (Main Mix)---- Eric Prydz [Super club mix that I can play over and over, and of course I did]

Ooh La La ---- Goldfrapp [Great song to imagine riding in neon-lit super-trains of the future. I believe they are the future.]

Al-Di-La---- Ray Charles Singers [I pretty much loathe all new radio-music and therefore I have boycotted the radio. Everything on the radio sucks. Or so I thought! When I stayed with my dad during the fall he was tuned into 1550 AM radio, a station devoted to "the songs of our lives." Tons of bland 1950's music, and I ate it up. My favorite was this song. Earlier in my life I heard the version by Connie Francis, so when I heard these lyrics I perked up and took down their name and since then I've tried to get everything they did onto my computer. Trivia: Later on in their career they sang the theme song to "Three's Company."]

Never Can Say Good-bye---- Isaac Hayes [Beautiful rendition of the song. I know Isaac Hayes is a prolific songwriter, but I'm not sure if this originally his song, or a cover. Either way, I love it, and I feel like romancin' whenever I hear it.]

Move In My Direction---- Bananarama [One of my favorite songs of all time is Bananrama's "I Heard A Rumour" from the 1980's. On a download binge, I was looking up remixes to their stuff and ran across brand new material. Hot new symphonic dance grooves. One of the Bananas are gone now. One of remaining Banana's, the blonde one, completely reminds me of one of my sister's best friends from junior high. Puberty sure can mess you up!]

Together In Electric Dreams---- Giorgio Moroder and Philip Oakley [Classic team up of my man Giorgio with the lead singer of the Human League. Uplifting in a Jeffrey P. way. Check out the remake by Lali Puna.]

It's For You---- Out Hud [I can't explain it but I'm hooked to this song. I don't know much about this band, but I have the feeling they're from NYC...they make me think of NYC power alterno dance pop out of Williamsburg.]

Look On the Floor---- Bananarama [This song makes me feel like I'm in high school again dancing about all over!]

Every Party---- Erlend Oye [I love songs that start with someone knocking on a door. Great chill groove.]

Super Pop---- Madonna [Madonna offered this inspirational dance song as a gift to her fans on her ICON website. How I got it, I don't know. "If I was a song, I'd be Super Pop!" She even throws in some political musings about being president.]

Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps---- Doris Day [a Doris classic I discovered this year. Stuck in my head for weeks it seemed]

Forever Lost---- The Magic Numbers [Caught this song cuz it was nominated on a British website for best video of 2005. A catchy little romp set to simple animation.]

Siboney---- Connie Francis [As a child my sister and I had a routine where re ran around the house in an operatic way as we listened to another Connie Francis sung Spanish anthem called "Malaguena" from her greatest hits album our parents' owned. Recently I've really have gotten into Connie's ethnic collection of songs. She did a whole series of albums with titles like "Connie Sings Italian Favorites" or Connie Francis Sings "Jewish Favorites." This song is off of her "Connie Francis Sings Spanish and Latin American Favorites" and was also included to the soundtrack to the Hong Kong movie "2046."]

Bad Reputation---- Joan Jett [Freaks and Geeks is one of my favorite teevee shows. I have the dvd collection and watched the series straight through. This was of course the theme song. I probably heard this song over a hundred times.]

Sad Eyes---- Andy Gibb [I'm a total sucker for Andy Gibb's voice, I was caught singing along to this in my truck driving along Highway 151]

I Can't Help It---- Andy Gibb and Olivia Newton-John [There is a god. This song proves it. The amalgamation of Andy Gibb and my favorite singer of all time, Olivia Newton-John. It's funny when one thinks they know every song by a singer then gets pleasantly surprised by the existence of this ambrosia!]

I Love To Singa---- Owl Jolson [from the old Merry Melodies cartoon about the little owl who wants to sing jazz when his father wants him to be a "proper" singer in the classical vain. I was thrilled to get to hear this song again. Haven't heard it since I was a wee tot; however, it was stuck in my head earlier this year and I hunted it down in both video and audio form.]

Take Me With U---- Prince [My favorite Prince song. Joyous and fun. Reminds me of my summer here.]

O Dio Mio---- Annette Funicello [Another song off the great AM station 1550 playing the greatest hit of our lives. I'm super into 1960's teen pop crossover music. Annette, Patty Duke, Shelly Fabares, Johnny Crawford]

Open Letter to NYC---- Beastie Boys [My theme song for my St. Patrick's trip to NYC]

Let's Get Physical (live)---- Goldfrapp [my first introduction to Goldfrapp, who I claim is the future. Great live performance of Olivia's "Physical"]

Oh What a World---- Rufus Wainwright [A joyous lament about our New York society]

Land of the Midnight Sun---- Jem and the Holograms [Thanks to Pam, this was one of her songs I got from her hard-drive, and by far my favorite. I still feel sad about the crash of her hard-drive as it got plugged into my computer. (do not ever mix macs and pc's!!!) Pam lost a lot of information off that hard-drive, for which I will mourn for the rest of my life. If I could travel in time that would the one moment that I would prevent from happening.]

Candy Shop---- 50 Cent [Heard this anthem about oral sex in an old-folks six lane bowling alley in Port Washington, Wisconsin.]

There Are Worse Things---- Stockard Channing [the great bad girl who also happens to have FEELINGS song from the movie "Grease." somehow gets stuck in my head time to time.]

Shark Attack---- Freezepop [I'm a superfan of this group and their fun little synth pop songs]

Movies of Myself---- Rufus Wainwright [A lot of Rufus on a list for someone who never cared for his stuff before. Infectious song I included in the songset for Pam's Filmfest.]

Hollaback Girl---- Gwen Stefani [Inarguably, one of the stupidest songs of all the time, but it got stuck in my head, just like everyone else in this damn country. I actually liked it cuz I thought she was continuously telling us to eat bananas near the end of the song.]

Screwed (Alex G Remix)---- Paris Hilton [Another living in my truck song. This song reminds me of one of the west-side Madison libraries that I'd steal internet access from. I heard this cum-guzzling gutter-slut had an album out and I thought, "God, I hate this cock-slurping sperm-bin, wonder what it sounds like." I know, I know. I was really good when it came to staying clear of shit music this year and I've been good at avoiding all that inane celebrity gossip crap, but I downloaded this song and discovered I have an untolerable fondness for it]

Good Boys---- Blondie [Blondie rocks, sorry about having them on the same list as Paris Hilton]

Seconds---- U2 [Got back into U2 this year when I started getting albums from dollar bins across NYC]

Starts Off With A Bang---- Mobius Band [brings out the sensitive college guy in me]

Burning Up 1981---- Madonna [When I heard that "Ain't No Big Deal," along with other unreleased demos, was collected on an album I had to find it. This music was made when Madonna was trying to first make it in NYC. Madonna could have easily gone in a more rock-oriented direction if she chose to. Great stuff!]

Alive---- VHS or Beta [A favorite of mine as I drove home to my dad's at night after getting done with work in Madison over the recent holidays.]

One On One---- Hall and Oates [I love the Philly Soul sound that Hall and Oates picked up. My friend Shelli reintroduced me to them this year when she made me a mix disc with all their songs and another with great Philly Soul singers like the Delfonics and the O'Jayz]

Crackers---- Barbara Mandrell [This is this year's pick for favorite pop country songs from the early 80's. Last year it was Sylvia's "Snapshot."]

Strange Powers---- Magnetic Fields [Reminds me of more drives to my dad's across the fields of Wisconsin. Lots of backwood roads and grazing fields full of cows.]

Sorry---- Madonna [Madonna's next hit...I heard it LAST YEAR. By the way, I can't wait for the Pet Shop Boys remix that's to be included on the single.]

Party Girl---- Bernadette Carroll [An oldies staple, no longer played due to emphasis on late 60's protest rock and that one Neil Diamond song that's played a thousand times a day. God, I f-ing hate the radio. So many great songs, they have like 3 decades of songs to choose from and they play the same hippy-ass pseudo-puke. Play some Mo-town, girl groups, doo-wop. Thank god I have the internet. Came across this song in an Irish tavern on W. 14th near Union Square. I love her enthusiam about having a good time, even if she has to break up with her man! Oh christ, she's the early 60's counterpart of Paris Hilton!

Aquaman---- Arthur Korb [I discovered tons of MP3's of people's recordings of the unforgettable 1970's story albums from Power Records. This is the theme song Arthur Korb did for the Justice League album. Sounds like a great clambake song!]

Wonder Woman ---- Arthur Korb [Just like Aquaman, Wonder Woman was featured in this Justice League album. Each character had a story as well as a theme song. Arthur Korb keeps going on about his love for Wonder Woman and how she'll be his someday. I'd like to go back and tell him that she's a fictional character!]

The Greatest Hit---- Annie [My Norwegian cutie-pie uses an ingenious sample of an early Madonna classic "Everybody" in this sweet, sweet song.]

Always Too Late---- Annie [First song I saw Annie perform at the Rothko in NYC. She was indeed late!]

Cindy's Gonna Cry---- Johnny Crawford [I became a huge fan of Johnny Crawford's (he played the son of Chuck Connor on the "Rifleman" in the early 1960's) music towards the end of 2004. Simple effective pure pop. If I was a singer I'd be like him.]

Sister---- She Wants Revenge [If I still hung out at bars, I'm sure this would be playing wherever I went.]

We Will Become Silhouettes---- Postal Service [More sensitive college-guy pop that I seem to love. Someone told me this song was used for some stupid car commercial. Although, this fact makes me want to upchuck, I still highly enjoy this song and have included it on my list.]


Whew! Sixty-one songs in all that made my cut. I was going for ten or twenty-five, but this list just kept growing and I wasn't going to stop it. If anyone wants a mix CD of my picks let me know---I'll be glad to send you one!

What If...

What if I found out there was a fan-page for my blog? That would be pretty nifty! Are there any "Bull-Roarers" out there???

One Week At Covance, Three To Go

Well, I've been cooped up in this place for a little over a week now. I've really wanted to keep a daily record of my stay here, but as I've mentioned before some goofballs are tying up the darn network. But, not now---I actually have a connection and I'll share with you highlights of my week as a paid guinea pig.

Day 1 (Sat. Jan. 7)
---Cell-phone alarm did not go off!!! Shitcakes. Woke up at 7:35 and had to be in-house at 8 AM. Instantly freaked, jumped out of bed, grabbed whatever I could and threw it into a suitcase and a paper-bag, ran out of the house and into my truck, and blasted my way to Covance. I've been staying at my dad's on the other side of Columbus next to the Astico State Park. I had about 30 miles to drive in the 20 minutes I had left on the clock. Usually I have to be extremely cautious along the way because of all the deer and raccoons with certain death-wishes. Pedal to the metal the whole way. Got my little Ford Ranger going 80! Whoo-weeee! Made it here at 8:05 hoping I was on time....and luckily, many others hadn't arrived yet, making my tardiness a little less substantial. Spent the day sitting around getting poked and prodded here and there, looking around at all the others wondering who would or wouldn't make the panel. Covance screens many people for each study, calling a bunch in to show up for the first day. Then out of that bunch they make a final selection, weeding out those who recently smoked crack or went out on a bender the night before, or those who are just a bit unhealthier than the others. Everyone was sizing everyone else up, checking out the competition. Rather "Survivor"-esque. Who was gonna make it? Who was going home?

From past experience, I knew chances were bad for you if you saw a project manager walking around looking at people's nametags and she stopped by you. That's when she would tell you that you didn't make panel, or possibly you were chosen to be an alternate. I think she would just walk into the room to play with us. We'd all be holding our breaths, fingers clenching into our chairs, our eyes on her every step. I caught her looking at my nametag. Oh crap. She started to walk my way. Oh no. I had to get into this study. I'm sure, everyone else was thinking that too, the stipend for this one is $6500. A lot of money on the line. I kept picturing myself heading back to NYC with a paper-thin empty wallet and looking for minimum-wage jobs at pizza joints. I looked into her eyes and she walks right by me to the guy next to me. Whooo! I overheard the news that he has been picked as an alternate. That means he would get to stay a day or two longer until everyone that was picked for panel dosed on the drug that's being tested. If for some reason someone on the panel gets sick or has a medical condition and has to leave the study before the drug is dosed he would take their place. But, this rarely happens, and the alternate stays long enough to make the rest of the group uncomfortable by his mere existence. Him being around meant that we were replaceable. Yikes! Go home!

Well, this new alternate had quite a situation. He was part of a guinea-pig couple and his girlfriend was picked for panel, while he was just an alternate. He was getting all worked up over the fact that there was no guarantee about him replacing anyone in the study. Separation anxiety was already setting in for him. His girlfriend sat quietly there as he tried to concoct crap-ass plans on how both of them could stay. Several pleas and bargains with the project manager were fitfully made. Seems that he was one of a couple alternates and he wanted to know his chances of making the study as opposed to the other alternates. Were they healthier? Was there a pecking order? At first he was told there wasn't; then, as they seemed to tire of him, he suddenly became "Alternate #3." Despite this, he talked his girlfriend out of the study so he could maybe take her place. What???? They had a guaranteed payout if she stayed, but he was gambling on himself getting in. So she would go home and wait for him. In the middle of this, room-assignments were finally given out. This was important because once you had a room, that meant you had a number and a place in the study. I was picked at number 16---out of 16. ohmygod. Just made it. I had been worried that my frenzied panic earlier in the morning affected my heart readings, which it did, but not enough to kick me out of the study.

Room selection worked out so that I had to share with the remaining two alternates. One was a porky looking ghetto white boy who talked of his time in jail and the other was the former Alternate #3, who was now Alternate #2 due to his girlfriend's drop-out and replacement by the first alternate. His fretting was getting worse as we were setting up bunk. He had his clothes and belongings out of his bags ready to be checked but then he grabbed them all and threw them all back in. He couldn't be apart from his partner and decided to leave. It was just me and Ghetto-boy then. I watched as he got his side of the room set up. Pictures of his child with his ex-girlfriend and photos of his current girlfriend went up above his bed. He told me about how he couldn't wait to pop his new girlfriend's cherry. She was still a virgin and he respected that. He also told me about how he's gotten laid more than twenty times since he joined myspace.com this last year. Funny, I'm a member too and I haven't gotten laid once. Hmmm.....

Day 2 (Sun. Jan. 8)
----Today we all had to wear holter monitors for the entire day and into the night to record our heart activities. We were warned about the placement of patches onto our bodies. Supposedly they have to stick in a certain way with nothing in the way, like body hair. Yikes! Supposedly they'll shave spots of hair away so they can sandpaper the skin so the patches stick. Gruesome visions of an earlier study I tried out for stabbed me instantly in the brain. I had hair on my chest which needed to be removed. I'm like ok. Then the nurse reaches over and grabs a razor-blade, just the blade, and proceeds to visciously shred my chest into a spotty mass of grated pink skin and shorn hair. Looked like a werewolf had a go at me trying to chew out my heart taking bites here and there. I recoiled at this memory and vowed this would not happen again. I walked straight into my shower area and got out the shaving cream. A sizable time, lots of lather, and delicate strokes later I walked out like either a plucked chicken or the prepubescent 14 year old version of myself, but I still had my skin intact.


Day 3 (Mon. Jan. 9)
----An anxious morning to start with. Today was day for the dosing. The last study I was in a guy I shared a room with was kicked out just prior to this moment because of a bad ECG reading. I wasn't counting my chickens until, I too, passed this moment on this study. I kept looking at Porky McGhetto and picturing him laughing at me as I was escorted out and he replaced me. However, I guess he didn't really wanted to stay. His birthday was coming up in a few days and he wanted to celebrate. I prayed hoping the higher power would allow him to celebrate such a precious day on the outside. Nobody should be allowed to experience a birthday cooped up in a health study! Hope came alive for me, and when it came time for me to swallow my two little happy pills I was smiling ear to ear. Yay! Porky McGhetto could go home and eat all the birthday cake and drink all the booze he wanted and I could stay and make myself a few thousand dollars richer. As he walked out he nicely willed me his dollar-store flip-flops (which I did need, due to my haphazard packing) and told me how he was going to pork his girlfriend on his birthday. I wished him well and now assumed sole ownerhip of our four-bed room.


Day 4 (Tue. Jan 10)
----The start of many viewings of any of the Lord of Rings movies has begun. The cable channels get here seem to be playing it nonstop. I predict I will see each installment at least a dozen times in my time here.

----Called my dad today, he has the day off from his job and is willing to come to Madison with a supply of things that didn't make it into my bag on my frenzied morning here. I will now have more than one pair of socks and underwear. I also asked him to stop at a store to get me some slippers and sleep-pants. These seem to be the necessary fashion items here at Covance---everyone's wearing them!! He's also going to bring my art supplies and comic books. Yay! I think I would go into withdrawal if a day goes by and I don't get to read a DC comic book. Go Aquaman!

----Dammit. My dad didn't show up.



Day 5 (Wed. Jan 11)
----Today is my sister Cari's birthday. Reminds me that it is also Porky McGhetto's birthday too. Wonder if he's enjoying his life in the outside world. And I wonder if he got to bang his sweetheart?

----9 pm tonight my dad showed up with a box of goodies. I was informed that he could drop stuff off for me, but that I would be unable to have contact with him. Well, I saw him drive up in his little blue Ford Aspire (his Assfire, as I call it, heheheheh...). So I alerted a staff member to go to the door to let him in. I thought they would tell me to stand back or something, but I didn't get the heave-ho. How strange it was, only five days into my month long sentence, to see someone from the outside world. Even with complete cable television coverage and occasional internet access the world should be at my disposal, but I felt like I had to reach out for any connection to the real world. What was the weather like? How was the car ride? Get any good butter-burgers at Culvers? Stupid questions were welling up, and any mundane answer would have perked me up, made me feel like part of reality rather than a lab-rat caught in a cage. My dad handed me my stuff and then staff escorted him out. I walked back into the den where I looked on as my dad drove away in his little Assfire. I realized I'm in for the long haul.


Day 6 (Thur. Jan. 12)
----Harold and Kumar was playing on the Encore channel today. Reminded me of the last study I was in where this movie was on constant rotation. Also brought to mind the story I was told by this girl Dee who I worked with at the law firm about Neil Patrick Harris (a.k.a. Doogie Howser) who appears as a drugged-out, horned-up version of himself to comedic effect in the film. Supposedly when she was visiting New York City she went to a concert with a couple of guy friends, who, by the way, were really quite midwestern, when they realized they were standing next to Doogie Howser! They ended up chatting and getting along quite nicely, to the point where they drove around for awhile and partied afterwards. At one point after many drinks and many drugs on Doogie's part, he made a proposal to bed one of the guy friends. I don't know the rest of the story. But, now whenever I think of Neil Patrick Harris I think of him all blitzed out on some drug named after some letter of the alphabet asking for gay sex in the cramped back seat of a Toyota somewhere in New York City. Oh, Doogie Howser!

----Word has spread that I have a room (and an adjoining bathroom) all to myself. This one guy, a cool Korean from Madison and I started talking. He was telling me about his parents who are in the ministry and about how he wants to start a whole new life and create an entirely different identity in California with the money he makes from this study. Then he started on about my room. The jokes he made were a thinly-veiled attempt to disguise his jealousy. Everyone else has to share a room with three other snoring guys; and they also have to share their bathroom with the guys in their room plus the four guys fromn the adjoining one. Since I'm the last in the study and there is no other study to fill the room next to me I also get a bathroom all to my little self. The haters hate on!


Day 7 (Fri. Jan. 13)
----Friday the 13th and a Full Moon on the same day here in Covance. Ooooooh boy. Anyway, routine is setting in. Been shooting some pool and watching some more lame movies. Today's feature was Transporter 2, an action film about this guy who is a professional driver. In this particular movies he's a chauffer for this family who's kid is kidnapped and laced with a bio-germ that he gives to his dad who's this big-wig who is going to some political convention. A huge stupid convuluted plot to showcase lots of fast cars and karate chops. Kick. Chop. Bang. Beep-Beep. I thought the terrorists or drug-lords or whatever the fuck they were should have just sent some guy with the virus to the convention. It would have shaved off more than half the movie, sparing us all from an uncountable number of science violations and a plethora of plot inconsistancies. This movie proved to me that Miami is probably a place I would never want to go to. People there, as portayed for this documentation seem to over-indulge in crazy vehicular speed, eye make-up or club-town sassitude. It just seems unsafe!


Day 8 (Sat. Jan 14)
----Spent the day reading about and compiling a list of possible grad schools I'd like to apply to. I've got a list of about eight right now. If you know anyone who got their masters in architecture and got any advice to share, introduce them to me. I need help. My list consists of schools who have special programs for those students who have their bachelor's in any other field besides architecture.

So far I have these schools listed:

Parson's School of Design
Columbia College
Art Institute of Chicago
Universtiy of Minnesota - Minneapolis
Universtiy of Wisconsin - Milwaukee
University of Hawai'i - Manoa
University of British Columbia - Vancouver

I'm started to compile my info for the application process and I'm sure a good part of my health study money is going towards these app fees. Yep.

----Watched a movie about child molestation called "Mysterious Skin" that some girl recommended to us. About 20 other people from my study and other studies sat around the den and watched in continuous horror. Ugh. I showered immediately afterwards. Topped it off with Tom Cruise's "War of the Worlds." This movie scared me in how it was soooooo poorly made. Simply Craptacular.


Day 9 (Sun. Jan 15)
----Today was Shark Attack Day! It was one of the busier days for the participants in the study. Most days we sit around, not really doing much other than our twice-a-day intake of happy pills. However, today we had blood draws, a full round of ECG's (electro cardiograms), blood pressure readings, and physicals. For most of it we were to lay in our beds as staff made their rounds to each room. The internet was extemely slow again.... so I turned on the TeeVee. Discovery Channel was having a show about the greatest sharks on Earth and I thought I could learn something about these creatures that I may in turn someday use in an Aquaman story I'd like to write. Then another program about sharks, then another, and another! The theme seemed to be about how sharks like to attack people. Stay out of the water in October and November. Stay away from seals and turtles. Don't swim with dogs. If you do swim, don't stop and tread water. Murky water is unsafe to swim in because sharks like murky water. Don't bleed in the water either. And if you have to get revenge on a killer shark who just ate your wife don't bother getting a vigilante squad to kill the shark, because it has already swam far away from the area. Sharks are extremely mobile and can swim 60 miles away in a day.

A great song to listen to: "Shark Attack" by Freezepop. It's been in my head all day.

Day 10 (Mon. Jan 16)
----Okay, I think I'm feeling the effects of the drug we're testing. Up until now I believed I was taking the placebo, but now I've got this weird anxious feeling. I laid in bed last night worrying about this and that for no reason whatsoever. I did fall asleep alright, but when I woke up I experienced that same anxiety and I felt a slight tingling in my upper lip. Uh-oh, I seem to get these stress blisters on my lip that inherited from my mom when I was a baby. I can't let that happen! I thought maybe this feeling was just me, but then I heard a bunch of the others going on about similiar feelings. We're all testing this anti-depression pill to see how big of a dose should be recommended for those it's prescribed to once the drug is on the market. It's tested on healthy participants to see how it moves through the body, to see how it's processed. So none of us are head-cases or anything. I hope the others and I can cope with this drug. We're here for three more weeks. That's a lot of time to be trapped with people going crazy! To get a hold of myself and work against this anxiety I decided to get dressed up in regular clothes. Most days I've been wearing lounge wear and lounging about. Today I donned some jeans with a button-down shirt and shoes. Tried being a regular human being today.

----Got to go outside on the patio! Soaked in the sun and the mild 40℉ mid January Wisconsin weather. Ahhhhhhh, fresh non-medical facility air. Makes me think about the fucked-up global warming that supposedly doesn't exist. No matter, I got to be OUTSIDE.

----Was told today I'm going bald. Now I have a reason to be anxious. I'm going to sneak some extra drugs into the food of that jerk who had to "delicately" announce my follicle condition. Fucker.

I'm a Paid Guinea Pig!

Big corporate pharmaceutical companies are in desperate need of healthy unemployed on-the-fringe type people who are able to devote more than a month of their lives to testing a wonderful array of developing drugs and unnamed pills for them; and I have dutifully answered that call!

I showed up to this health study this last weekend (Jan. 7) and I won't be leaving this complex until the 8th of Feb. Please let me to continue to be strong in the face of daily dosings and length of time I'll be "incarceratated' here as one of their test subjects. It's funny how much I super-hate these awful megacorps, but here I am, just as soon as they wave some greenbacks my way. Here's my arm, jab me with needles---yee-haw!!!

I'll tell ya all more when the internet opens up a bit more here. Participants do have free access, but, we're all on the same network and I think some goof-balls are using their X-box, therefore jamming the entire system for everyone else. I...t..'...s---------a...b...o....u....t-------a......s---------s.....l.....o......w------- a.........s---------d.....i.....a....l.....-.......u.........p......

Gripe

It really pisses me off whenever I see un-burdened, able-bodied people opening doors by pushing the handicapped accessible buttons rather than using their own hands. First of all, it is extremely lazy. Secondly, it's a drain on energy. Every time some bozo pushes that button it takes up electricity; and in butt-cold climates, like Wisconsin, it lets in cold air into buildings whose heating systems are already working overtime. These people don't know how to conserve our resources.

And please, don't get me started on the fucks who use the elevator to go up or down one flight.

Today is My Mom's Birthday

Yep, time for me to head to my mom's and celebrate her birthday. I hope she likes the Golden Girls Season 2 dvd I got her this year. After kinda grumbling about the stack of like 200-odd pictures I gave her for xmas---an entire years worth of her grandchildren and the family, me in New York and Seattle, and her kitties I had printed off my computer, she mentioned something about not getting any Golden Girls dvds this year (even though she complained about the Golden Girls set I gave her last year!). So that's what's she's getting. She's a little hard to please, but I still try. Despite her fussbudgetry, she's still my mom. Plus I like those Golden Girls.