Argh! Apartment-Hunting!

There's a reason why it's called apartment "hunting." You just want to find these places and put them out of their decrepid misery! Well, I've been in NYC now for a week and I still haven't a place that isn't a couch with a board under the cushion for support. Lots of email messages and log-ins to craigslist, but nothing---though I am in the running for this one place in Manhattan where in exhange for a room that will be mine, I will have to walk a bunch of dogs. I'll get back to you all about this. I'm gonna hang out with "Ken" tomorrow night and I'm getting details. Hopefully, I won't be "barking" up the wrong tree! Haha!
Last week I got invited to an open house for an opening in a loft in Williamsburg (home of the floppy-haired hipsters and their girlfriends with bangs). Truly, it was a remarkable space. High-vaulted ceilings, exposed brick, utilities all paid, dsl and cable tv, cool artistic roomies, as well as being extremely affordable, I wasn't the only one to think so, as 65 other guys showed up! I swear, all they needed were a bunch of cameras set up and it could have been some stupid reality tv show with all us guys pseudo-partying and vying for the attention of our possible future roommates! And somehow, I got the call-back the next day! I took the train there again that night, but when I got off I saw this other guy getting off too, and I was like, Oh-shit. This guy, I suddenly realized, was my competition for the finale of this production. His name was Blake---tall, mild-mannered, floppy-haired, and most importantly, the inventor of FloCabulary! I had a sinking feeling and wanted to cross the street, but he seemed lost and I kinda waved at him which way to go. So we both got there at the same time---instant comparison. We all reintroduced ourselves and my doom began. Blake is from Boston. Blake is also from San Francisco. I'm from Beaver Dam, in Wisconsin. Blake goes to high schools selling his FloCabulary. Flocabulary, you ask? It's a program he developed that teaches high-school students SAT terminology through the use of HIP-HOP. MTV News filmed him that day at one of his sessions. Ugh! Well, after his pitch, things kinda broke up and we all left. I never heard from the room-mate seekers again, as I'm sure they're so blessed to be with Blake! I guess I would have picked him over me too. Sigh!